WARNING: This Haircut May Contribute to a Non-Existent Sex Life

I guess it’s a Simpson sister festival today at Yeah Gurl. While researching big sissy’s billion dollar enterprise, I came across these hideous pics of Ashlee Simpson’s new haircut. For the record, at this very moment I’ve decided two things. First, pixie haircuts should be outlawed immediately. Second, I will never subject myself (or my boyfriend/future husband) to this atrocity for as long as I live. I just don’t get it. What was going through her mind when she decided to chop off all of her pretty extensions hair and get a God-awful dye job? If I were Pete Wentz, I’d withhold penis privileges from her until she decided to become an attractive wife once again. And while you’re at it Ash, it couldn’t hurt to get some sun on that skin and eat a sandwich. I’m just sayin’…

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