Archive for the ‘ Fashion ’ Category

A New Hermes Clutch? Well I Don’t Mind If I Do…

This will probably be the shortest blog post of all time because words cannot express how ridiculously amazing the Hermes Jige clutches are. I’m like a kid in an exorbitantly priced candy store and I can’t deal. Although the Jige clutch has been around for quite some time, Hermes cleverly released a ton of new hues just in time for spring. That said, all I need is an extra $4,250 and I’ll be set for the season. Why does the universe insist on playing these sick games with my bank account??!!

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I’m Deeply Disturbed by This Givenchy Ad

 

Listen, I’m no Adriana Lima but are they serious with this guy? I can’t even look at the ad without thinking about that creepy movie Powder. I was legit afraid of that guy and now my nightmares will def be haunted by this dude for a while. Although, I kinda feel bad about being so critical of Stephen Thompson, the albino model cast for the Spring 2011 Givenchy ad campaigns. I get the whole “forward thinking” logic and the statement Riccardo Tisci is evidently trying to make…but is it so wrong that I actually enjoy getting my usual fill of beautiful, perfectly chiseled gay male models in high fashion ads? To take that away from me is pretty rude, Mr. Tisci. I’m team Dolce on this one. But I swear, if they trying pulling any Marc Jacobs shit on me it’s OVER.

ARE SOME CARRIE BRADSHAW FANS REALLY THIS PATHETIC?

I guess I “liked” the Sex & the City fan page on Facebook a while ago and now I get all these news feed updates from HBO. Not a big deal…until I came across this stupid necklace. Anyone who hasn’t lived under a rock for the last decade has probably seen at least one episode of the show. There’s also a good chance that in that episode Carrie was sporting her famous gold nameplate necklace (reference pic above in case you missed that one). There was even an entire episode dedicated to her LOSING the necklace (I believe it was season 6 en Paris??). Anyway, you get the idea. That leads me to the HBO online shop. They actually sell this fugly fake version of the necklace. Really??? Who the hell would walk around wearing this? So your name is Jennifer, but you want people to mistake you for Carrie Bradshaw or something? Sorry sister, it’s not going to happen. And to that extent, if I see someone wearing this out one day I’m immediately walking up to them and ripping it off. Perhaps I’ll even dump the rest of their “cosmo” (because you knooooow that’s what they’re drinking) on them for shock value. That’s the only way to teach a bitch a good lesson.

How Ridiculously Cute is Dakota’s Baby Sister?

Valentino Haute Couture – Fall 2010

OMFG, I can’t with the GORGEOUS Valentino dress and bow mules that Elle Fanning wore Wednesday night to the LA premiere of Sophia Coppola’s new film, Somewhere. PS – She’s only 12 years old. I’m literally dying right now. And the shoes…the SHOES…THE SHOES!!! Simply fabulous. I was still trying to decide whether I was team Backstreet or team N’sync when I was 12. Although, I was quite disturbed by the untimely death of Gianni Versace around the same time. If only I had access to COUTURE back then (or now for that matter). I can’t hate on her though. Her older sister is super talented and it looks like Elle won’t be following too far behind Dakota’s footsteps. I guess with a name like “Elle” you kind of have to be stylish. Molto bella, gurlfriend!

Angelina Rocks Winter White

I’m not sure what to think about the floor length Versace Atelier gown that Angelina wore to the NYC premiere of her new film, The Tourist. She was looking pretty fierce in the first pic. However, I wasn’t really feeling the angora dress upon examination of the second pic. It actually looks like this long cashmere sweater I have. I call it my plane sweater because I wear it just about every time I fly and boy does it feel glorious. I’m guessing this wasn’t exactly the look she was going for.

Next, we have the shoes. I’m betting she had these white Salvatore Ferragamo pumps custom-made (apparently Ferragamo customized all of Angelina’s shoes for the film). I’m not hating them, but I’m not loving them either. Aside from that, her hair and makeup were lovely. One can only hope to look this good while raising six kids. That said, WTF is going on with Brad’s creepy goatee? Angie seriously needs to shave it off in the middle of the night or something. Come on Brad, don’t disappoint us during your last few years of being a sexy piece of ass.

GURLFRIEND ISN’T AS DUMB AS SHE LOOKS

Although she’s not the most stylish celebrity out there, Jessica Simpson must be doing something right for Women’s Wear Daily to name her “Fashion’s Billion Dollar Baby.” According to reports, the Jessica Simpson Collection has raked in sales of $750M this year. Yeah, you read that right…$750 MILLION. They predict sales to hit the $1 billion mark by 2011.

Holy hell. People can make fun of her all they want, but it looks like she’s laughing all the way to the bank. Her estimated net worth is around $100 million by the way. Not too bad for the girl who didn’t know the difference between chicken, tuna and buffalo. But who really gives a shit when you’re printing money?

Personally, I can’t stand much of anything in her collection of footwear, accessories, luggage and fragrances. It’s actually quite funny when one of my friends are wearing a pair of Jessica Simpson heels and immediately justify their purchase when asked who the designer is. OK, so some of the shoe designs aren’t that dreadful. I don’t actually own a pair, so I’ll leave it to you gurls to fill me in on them. I’ll also admit that Jessica has one hell of a marketing department working behind her. Middle America loves nothing more than to feel like they’re getting celebrity style for a bargain. Just look at all the successful celebrity/designer collaborations at Tarjay, Wal-Mart and Kohl’s. What I don’t get is why people are flocking to buy her stuff? Nobody likes her music or TV shows post-Nick and all the tabloids seem to do is slam her left and right. Yet another unsolved mystery I suppose.

SHOULD I BE WEARING THIS: Foliage Fashion

 

This badass shirt really takes me back to my childhood in Jersey. I used to love jumping around in all the leaves in my backyard after the landscapers raked them into neat little piles (wow, I just realized the shitty karma I probably created by doing that). However, I always made sure to brush off the excess leaves before going back inside. My guess is Dave Rittinger, a Brooklyn-based artist, never quite came to terms with that concept.

OK, so I get that this is supposed to be art as opposed to functional fashion, but it’s still hideous and ridiculous in my book. So you’ve successfully glued a bunch of leaves from the streets of Williamsburg onto a T-shirt and called it art. Way to go, Dave. *hand claps* I really can’t stand the whole Hipster takeover of NYC and this is a perfect example of why. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a few palm frawns calling my name.